I dont want her being happy and she doesnt want me to either?

i see and feel what you are saying. i understand that being in a serious relationship is hard work, but you know how it goes when you break up. no one wants to see their ex doing fine without them. its going to be hard but one of you must take the first step in providing time and space so the wounds can heal. yes y'all can be friends but not right now. to many feelings is still fresh. plus you own it to your new girlfriend to be open and honest with her. you can't have your cake and eat it to. it wouldn't be fair to your new friend. i'm still friends with my ex, but it took time to get their. we had to rebuild our relationship over again. because when we broke up it wasn't because on of us were doing wrong or anything like that. it was because our lives took us to different places in life. i loved him dearly and i wanted him to be in my life because we were best friends as well. it took a lot of hard work and understanding from both parts, but the thing is we both had other friends. he had a woman and i had a boyfriend. we felt that our love and respect from one another will allow us to see it through. in time it did. i couldn't see him for a while because when i did see him with other women it broke my heart because the wounds we still fresh, but as time went on and i became involved again, i talked with my new friend about it and to be honest he was the one who told me that i should patch things up. well about 6 months had p and i contacted him again we had lunch and from there we just talked. he told me about his new girlfriend and i told him about my new boyfriend. he was surprised when i told him my new friend told me to get back in contact with him he couldn't believe it. yes and now its been two years and my new friend and my old friend and his girlfriend dose lunch from time to time and the guys even goes and hang out sometimes. i don't know but it dose take a lot of work and understanding. don't leave you new friend out in the could. she needs to share this with you. she must feel that she is first with you and that your old relationship is over. maybe you and your ex still needs time to heal. so just give it that (time). you want someone you can love and get married then give your present girlfriend the chance. you should find someone who is understanding and not feel jealous about you p relationship. i know its hard letting someone that meant so much to you go. its not that you want to get back with them but just to keep them in your life. remember that in order to get back to being friends you have to start from scratch . y'all cant re minis about the past because you are not ready for that but after a few months and sometimes a year p then con tack her and see where her head is. i hope this help you out and i feel as though you need time to heal. don't just jump right into a new relationship before you put closure on the old one. i know life stills goes on but your heart don't know that and that is why people need time to get over things. so when you do get into a new relationship it will be fresh and you are going into it with a freshness of your own and not what some one else left you. good luck and please let me know how everything is going.